We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
