Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
