He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
