I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
