Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
