Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
