hotel room ftw
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
