You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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