I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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