it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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