i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
