Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
