How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
