How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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