I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
