I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
