Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
