I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So apparently I’m into choking now
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