a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
