She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
