Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
