Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
