I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
