that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
zippers are such a cool invention
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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