I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
smell my finger.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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