If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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