Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
