I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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