I just made out with a guy for $7.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
