No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
