perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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