We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
