Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
