so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
