I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
