I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
