C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
