As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
