How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
