I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
