I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
