I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
