honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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