How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
