Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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