glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
