There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
