He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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