There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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