Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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