I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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