im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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