dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
