There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
They have beer where we have blood.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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