What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
