your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize