My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
